In recent months I’ve endeavored to apply the “glass half full” perspective to all aspects of my life. Maybe it’s an old adage coming to reality, “older and wiser,” or maybe it’s just because I’ve seen so many events which continue to prove to me that it’s my choice to be happy, content and at peace with where I am in my life. But one of the most difficult areas for me to accept and embrace is aging. How can I be this old? Where did the time go? Again I hear one of my father’s favorite quotes, “Youth is wasted on the young.” Now I not only understand his words but also the hint of sadness in his voice as if he was imploring me to heed the warning that he had not recognized in time.
So as a result of his somewhat cryptic statement, I have begun to look for the upside to this whole aging process. It appears to me that as with most things in this world, it’s what you make of it. I have to age, but I am well within my rights and abilities to never get old! Staying young at heart might sound cliché but it’s a cause that I am quite committed to. A good joke, laughing until you cry and zipping down a slide with your arms raised above your head; all of these great moments of childhood can still be a part of adulthood. They will still bring simple, childlike enjoyment and a very therapeutic smile.
Another boon of adulthood is the ability to make your own choices, and I endeavor to make the conscious effort to see that as a pro and not a con. Adults are faced with hundreds of choices a day, which can and does sometimes feel overwhelming. But, be honest, wasn’t your biggest childhood dream about the day when you were finally old enough to make your own decisions? So embrace the fact that you are now free to choose for yourself and then make the most of those choices. For example, a family is something that kids are born into so to speak. You get what you get and really have no say in who your parents and siblings are. And like any other part of life, some kids win the family lottery and others are not so fortunate. Most of us end up somewhere in the middle and learn to take the good with the bad; a crazy aunt or two is just part of most family trees. But then comes life as a grown up. Now we select our friends and the people whom we want to spend time with. In essence, we begin to select what is to become our adult family. This can be a very powerful gift of coming of age.
Finding that small group of close friends who always have your back, who can always be counted on and who choose to stick by you in thick and thin, that’s a gift of aging. No one is forced to be in your inner circle just because their parents play bridge with your parents every Tuesday night. No one is there because you let them copy your math homework every night. No one is there so that you will introduce them to your “super-hot” best friend. These people are in your life because you chose them and they chose you. It’s a commitment and a bond that you have made willingly.
When I think of my chosen family, one person jumps to mind; my sister. It’s funny, having moved 2000 miles from my biological family over a decade ago, I never thought about new friends and acquaintances not knowing my real siblings from my chosen ones. As a result, many people in my life just assumed that Sara is my “real” sister. When I discover their confusion I explained that she is not my biological sister, but she is my real sister. She is there for me any time I need her, no questions asked. She supports me and protects me when I need it and she would stand shoulder to shoulder with me and fight to the death. There is nothing that I couldn’t ask of her and nothing that I wouldn’t do for her. She is the sister of every little girl who was raised as an only child dreams of having. She even accepts the part of me that will never, ever grow up and she joins right in with my juvenile fun. So even though I wasn’t there from the day she was born, she is my sister in every way that matters.
So for now, I have made my peace with getting older because I’m beginning to see the benefits it affords me. Choosing to surround myself with amazing friends and family is certainly one of aging’s greatest gifts. And as I continue on my journey, side by side with my chosen family, I will continue to seek the wonderful opportunities that await me and enjoy them to their fullest.