As humans, we are all forced to manage that small but mighty portion of our persona that is our ego. The voice of your ego will whisper into one ear, “Prove It! Make that person see your value!” while your heart is whispering in the other ear, “walk away- you know the truth.” There is a very fine line between understanding and appreciating your own value and the need to feed your ego. If you are willing to contribute without recognition or praise, then you understand your own value. But if you are thinking at all about accolades, then it’s your ego and not your heart driving your actions.
The problem with using your ego as your sole motivation is that you are relying on someone else to define your value. In some cases, you will have the benefit of an appreciative audience, but other times your gifts and contributions just don’t get the warm reception that they deserve. Appreciation is not a feeling that you can force on anyone. However, if you can see the value of your own work and know that it is your best work, then you can feel the sense of accomplishment and value that you deserve for your efforts. Never base your opinion of yourself on the thoughts or feelings of others. Only you deserve the right and opportunity to define yourself and your value.
My mother always told my sisters and me to be our own best friends. I never understood what this meant growing up because I needed my friends to define who I was. I call the first third of my life all about Conformity, fitting in, being accepted by my peers. For those familiar with the Enneagram, I am a Two, a Giver, but I gave myself away because I am also a Pleaser, pleasing others to win their approval and love. Thank goodness (and God) that I have learned the hard way to trust myself more with gratitude and humility and even some humor. I’m not nearly as important as I once wanted to be or thought I was. This beautiful post says all this and more about what it means to truly love ourselves, for only when we love ourselves can we love others.
True but I can not always believe myself. No self confidence
Building self-confidence is a process of learning to take tiny steps forward. I have found that doing things for others helped me to build my own self-confidence. Having readers enjoy my writing and leave comments for me has helped me to see the value in my writing. Each comment and positive note helps me to believe a little bit more in my writing. Everyone has gifts, talent and much to offer to others in this world. Share with others and see the difference that you make in their day or even life and you can then begin to have the confidence in yourself that you deserve.