Four tiny words that speak volumes to all those who are willing to listen. Not every epiphany is going to be an eloquent long soliloquy. Some of the most important pieces of advice are in simple little words that even a child can understand. Maybe because children still have an honest and unclutter mind which allows them to read and evaluate on content and not style, word count or the potential for hidden meaning.
Living for the moment is a simple yet often overlooked process of valuing time and what it has to offer us. Each moment of your life is truly a once in a lifetime opportunity. And it is up to you, what you choose to do with that moment. What or whom will you invest these tiny gifts in? Who will you share your moments with? And not just in the sense of who will be physically sitting next to you or near you, but who will you connect with on a deeper and more meaningful level?
I would love to be a dreamer, but there is a vein of realism that runs too deep in my soul to allow me to really believe that we get to control our every moment. As adults, we have responsibilities to our families, our employers, and to society to contribute our share. And though it is easy for multimillionaires to smile and chide us for not following our dreams, not everyone wins the career lottery. Very few can do what they love and still afford to eat. So there are some moments, about 40 hours’ worth at least, that are spoken for, to fulfill our adult responsibilities. But that only means that the rest of your moments are even more valuable. Now they are platinum rather than mere gold.
And with these remaining moments, we each need to decide what will grant a feeling of accomplishment, satisfaction and overall happiness when the day of reckoning comes. We are all human, and we all know on some level that forever is really a finite amount of time that varies for each person on earth. But the one aspect that we all share is that as that day approaches, we will begin to undertake a final accounting of our time on earth. Now the sand on the top of the hourglass that is our life is beginning to ebb, and we somehow finally have the clarity to recognize each tiny grain as a single moment. But the moments are dwindling and once gone, can never be recovered. We stare intently at the large pile of sand that has amassed in the lower chamber of the hourglass. Those moments are gone but hopefully were well spent, well invested in those who were most important in our lives and the activities which brought us the most joy and happiness. But on that day of reckoning, understand that nothing can be changed. This is simply a time to make peace with what has occurred, what has become of all of your moments in your life.
There is, however, an opportunity for those who are willing to invest in some hard and honest introspection. Think of this as a preview of a new movie. You are getting a glimpse at what will be included in the final cut and then you are free to decide if you will choose to see the movie. But in this case, you are free to choose to reevaluate how you are investing the most valuable moments in your life. You have the ability to choose to change your investment plan, and in effect, change the outcome of your time here on earth and your day of final accounting.
As the holidays approach, there can be added stress to do and be everything to everyone in your life. The perfect meal, the perfect gift, and attendance at a myriad of functions, all can appear to be important tasks. But what are the moments that will have a lasting impact on the people who mean the most to you? Will your loved ones remember the amazing combination of flavors in this year’s stuffing and how the centerpiece was just perfectly crafted? Or will they remember that you spent an entire evening together sharing happy memories of the closing year and creating new happy memories?
On your day of reckoning, will you recall a gift that you gave or received or will your mind drift back to a day when you shared words from the heart and your innermost feeling with those who made your life meaningful? As you picture your life, is it a quilt of moments, memories, that swaddle you and warm you with love and human connection? Do those thoughts validate and justify the choices you made when deciding how to invest your moments? Or do you wish that you had prioritized more moments with loved ones and spent fewer late nights at work?
Kathy, so many of your posts are so thoughtful and thought provoking and this one is even more so, at least for me, as I have always loved quilts and the metaphor you describe is so perfect for living in the moment. You are such a gifted writer and thinker, and I am ever grateful for having “met” you this year, thanks to the Internet. When I count my blessings this Thanksgiving, being connected with you and your wisdom is at the top of my list!
Pam- I am so thankful to have discovered you this year. You have been such a blessing offering support and encouragement. I have no words to explain how much your comments mean to me and how your words motivate me when I am feeling overwhelmed or just staring down writer’s block! I choose to visualize my journey as a walk on the beach. The landscape is ever changing and the sea continues to carry new gifts to me which it deposits right at my feet. I can pick up these gifts, examine them and then decide which ones are valuable enough to hold on to and carry with me for the remainder of my journey. You are certainly one of the most radiant and truly beautiful gifts to find its way to me this year and any year. I look forward to our friendship and the blessing that it will deliver to us both throughout the remainder of our journies.
After reading your response to my comment, I was amazed to recall this brief story I wrote several years ago and just updated a bit. I am the older woman and you are the Star Thrower, Kathy, making a positive difference in so many lives because you are awakening them to their own creativity and their own stories that can and will heal their lives in wonderful (full of wonder) ways!!!!!
The Starfish Story
An older woman had a habit of walking on the beach each morning at sunrise. As she made her way along the water’s edge, she recognized in the distance a human figure moving gracefully, like a dancer. Coming closer, she could see the young woman wasn’t dancing. Rather, she kept reaching down to retrieve something, then gently yet purposefully throwing whatever it was far out into the ocean.
The older woman called out to the younger woman. “Hello there! What are you doing?” The young woman looked up, squinting against the morning sun, pausing to see who calling out to her, and said, “Throwing starfish into the ocean. The sun is coming up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back into the water, they will surely dry up and die.”
The older woman gazed along the expansive beach in both directions as far as she could see. “Don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach, and hundreds, perhaps thousands of starfish dying in the sun. How can you possibly save them all?”
The young woman listened as the older woman spoke, then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the ocean, past the breaking waves. “I made a difference for that one,” she said, gazing out across the sparkling expanse of water.
What the older woman learned that day from the younger woman was that each one of us has been given unique gifts along with a passion to make a positive difference in the lives of others and in our sacred earthly home. If and when we become aware of these gifts and passions to share and use them wisely and compassionately, we are also given the power to do so, regardless of our age or circumstances.
Starfish on the beach are countless in number and so are the people in our lives and in our world needing someone like the young woman saving starfish. By using our gifts (we all have them) to do what we can, where we can, when we can to advocate for the basic rights needs of others, if only to treat them with kindness and compassion, we are making a positive difference in the world and—at the same time—in our own lives, as well.
Adapted from, The Star Thrower, by Loren Eiseley (1907-1977)
Pam- I love this story! And the beauty of it is that we take turns playing each part. Some days we are the teacher and some days the student…but we learn and grow from the experiences and the amazing people who enter our lives even if that visit is as brief as a short chat in passing on the beach. Thank you, my dear friend.
😘😊👍
I have been reminded yet again to leave nothing left unsaid- thank you, Pam, for your friendship. I truly cherish it!
Lllloooovvvveeeellllyyyy. This post took me deeper within myself, to gain better understanding. Born and raised in a country where you have to fight for the basic, that others around the world took for granted, I learned to take nothing for granted!
I learned to underestimated no one! Not even yourself! I learned to treat any and all opportunities as if it’s my last chance. And I live my life that way. I learn there might not be a tomrrow, and I try to treat others accordingly. But I also live , ‘what if, there is a tomorrow.’ Mostly that’s a question my finance ask, and I answer. I don’t have many wasted moments, by doing everything for a reason, makes my life simplier and almost stress free. Almost.
When you were born, you cried while all those around you was smiling.
Live your life so that when you die you are the only one to smile while everyone around you cry.