A lot has been happening right in my country for the past few days, over the hours. Kids, adults, men, women… going into DEPRESSION and being SUICIDAL on the same account. An INTELLIGENT YOUTH taking his life after a FAILED EXAM, a HUSBAND who took his life and never would return home to his WIFE, a YOUNG, BEAUTIFUL lady getting herself poisoned after a BREAK-UP from someone she’s put her dear heart on… different other, and related cases. The word out is ‘DEPRESSION IS REAL’ and it’s eating deep into people, our friends, families, our fellow human…, right to our very face.
And now, SUICIDE is becoming the order of the day as each day goes by. And for HOW LONG will it continue?
To start with, most, if not all, know what DEPRESSION really is… DEPRESSION has been living amongst us all since inception and has taken its toll on people who this ‘disease’ has infected. We all have been tasked with various measures to put to a halt, wherever to this chronic development. Trying each way we all could to reach out to DEPRESSED/SUICIDAL individuals with humane actions that would probably make them SURVIVORS again. We can only try. TOTAL VICTORY actually lies with a DEPRESSED/SUICIDAL individual.
The real thoughts meted out by the average, non-depressive person towards a DEPRESSED/SUICIDAL individual is that they were NEVER OPEN TO SPEAK OUT to someone about their INNER PAINS. And yea! This might be truthfully so, but in some cases I am related with, DEPRESSED/SUICIDAL individuals actually do reach out. A DEPRESSING individual knows what he/she is battling with, he/she seeks to voice out to a friend, family, a partner or anyone, as he/she has believed in his/her own UNNATURAL state of mind, that they would help the dire situation they’ve found themselves in.
But were they able to hear words that would soothe their plights from the speech rendered to them by those they’ve chosen to open up their wounds too? NOT IN EVERY CASE.
Most of these people DEPRESSING/SUICIDAL individuals run to have mostly unkind words to tender them with, they address them in a way that their words even make their DEPRESSING/SUICIDAL thoughts go worse. These people address them with cruel and inhumane words that even an average, non-depressive person would hear and get DEPRESSED for, then start seeing their life as a FAULT.
Words like, “there are more than enough people on this side, maybe you leaving might actually free up the already congested space. Some words go like, they can die, if they are tired of living, some even go to the extent of regarding them as ‘fools’ while addressing them.”
These sets of ‘HARMFUL ADVISORS’ think in their own natural/normal thoughts that such wordings would actually help the DEPRESSED/SUICIDAL individual but forgetting that a DEPRESSED mind is never in a NORMAL STATE, it has gone from being NORMAL to outright ABNORMAL, it doesn’t think anymore as a very calm, normal human would.
I have been having my deep battle with DEPRESSION about the end of last year, and still DEPRESSING… Although there has been a great improvement judging by when it all started, (all to God) it has never gone SUICIDAL. I did a lot of self-help and self-care as I would to the best of all I could help myself with. During those hardest moments, I was opportune to speak with few people (close friends) I choose to open up myself to, and as I wouldn’t have imagined, their response worsened the situation. I had to go through my self induced therapy which I was able to carry out not by any strength that was in me but God’s strength within me to never crack. Now, things are working out better again, and I’m grateful for that and the people that helped as I battle through.
People who DEPRESSED/SUICIDAL individuals choose to confide in, should in all way watch what they speak back to them while encouraging them, so far you’re stronger or you think you’re stronger than doesn’t mean you should react with your words to them as you would have motivated yourself through. We all have our breaking limits when we go through emotional traumas. Treat DEPRESSED persons with the respect, care, and love they deserve. Your words MIGHT JUST be the fail-safe to change their dreadful thoughts and be able to LIVE again or otherwise (if your words are not carefully chosen) give them the final go-ahead to end their existence.
Be careful with your choice of words when speaking to a DEPRESSED/SUICIDAL individual, the best action is to be quiet as possible with few, humane choice of words IF you’re not certain of the impact the words coming out from you would do on them. Know that they trusted you enough to open up to you and in this same way believe your words might encourage them to see life different once again. Be kind, be humane, be love… towards them.
DEPRESSION is real and likewise SUICIDE. Let’s try with the best of our abilities to tender with care, love and MOST IMPORTANTLY WATCH OUR WORDS toward a DEPRESSED/SUICIDAL individual.
A closing word for a DEPRESSED/SUICIDAL one reading through is, “one day, all the BEAUTIFUL, the UGLY, the BLISSFUL, the PAINFUL pieces…, would surely fit in.” Don’t fail. Don’t faint. Be your strongest.
I would like to thank Gbadebo for this amazing piece of work and the courage to share his life experience with us so that we may learn from his pain and struggle. Not only does this demonstrate your kind heart and and concern for others but it also speaks volumes about your inner strength, faith and dedication to making this world a better place for all of us. Thank you for this and all of your contributions here at See The Good and many blessings to you for continued success and happiness. Please know that your voice here is important, you make a difference to everyone who reads your work and you inspire others to strive for success just as you have done!
Readers can contact Gbadebo via email at gbadebo.adebayo@yahoo.com
or by visiting his LinkedIn profile at https://www.linkedin.com/in/gbadebo-a-853297173
Yes, thank you Gbadebo, for writing this powerful post, and thank you, Kathy, for sharing it so many more can read it. Suicide is increasing everywhere it seems. My aunt committed suicide in 1953, when I was 10, and when I asked my parents why, they said I was too young to understand and they would explain later. ‘Later’ never really came because they didn’t know how to explain it. Staying silent about suicide is hurtful to everyone because it invites fear into our hearts and minds. We must learn the right way to talk about it, and most importantly, the right way to listen to someone who feels suicidal and seeks us out for compassion, understanding and help. Fortunately, our health care system is beginning to realize how great a need we have today for better understanding of, support and treatment for depression. Your post Gbadebo truly is a gift to all of us who are reading it today and sharing it with others. Thank you so much.
Thanks, Pamela. You’ve said a lot too in your concise post out here. May we all have the needed strength to scale through while struggling or in pain.
For, #WeWillNotFail and #WeWillNotFaint.
God bless.
Been there, but I intend to survive, because I believe that there are lots of people out there that I am supposed to help, that I haven’t met yet. Depression, for me is like a thirst. It will come when there is a DROUGHT, and it will consume you until you find WATER. Once you are not thirsty, it will stay away. I find ways to make sure I am never THIRSTY. I pray more and more people with depression can find healthy, safe, sensible and good ways to quench their thirst for life.
Amen.