Sometimes we need to witness something that we think is awful to refocus ourselves, our ideas, or simply our outlook on life. These people who are struggling, facing an immense challenge, or even reaching the end of their life, offer us a tremendous opportunity to learn from another person’s experience.
Seeing just a tiny glimpse of life through the eyes of a dying man made me stop in my tracks and take inventory of all the blessings in my life, from my family and friends right down to each moment that is given to me in the future. And while it would have been all too easy for this 40 something person to be bitter and angry at the world, he was anything but. He was kind, generous, and genuinely concerned for others.
He is now about six weeks past the date that doctors said he would ever see. It was literally his drop-dead date. And while he is in incredible pain due to the cancer that has invaded many parts of his body, he was beyond pleased just to have a visitor for an hour. And during that time, he did not talk about holding out hope for a miracle. All he dreams about is a way to elude the pain for the little time he has left. He hopes to sit on the patio and look up at the stars with his wife and to enjoy time to chat with friends and share happy memories. He understands that his time here is drawing to a close. And he has accepted that with the most dignity that I have ever witnessed. I truly believe that his only concern at this point is the wellbeing of his beloved wife that he must leave behind.
Watching the two of them together for just an hour was like a cliff notes version of the greatest love story ever written. This woman, tiny in stature, wields more inner strength than most could ever even imagine. At a time when she could be worried and stressed, she has found peace in feeling nothing but gratitude for every moment that they have left to share. And even with his eyes clouded by pain medication, they lit up and sparkled with love when he looked at her. I was in awe of a love that I know will last far more than a lifetime, his lifetime.
And after our visit, I feel that I was given the opportunity to see this world and my life a little bit more clearly. I was shown why I should pause for a moment and just soak in the warmth of the sun on my face. I now know that I should take the few extra moments to tell the people that I love just how much they mean to me. And I should stare into the loving eyes of my husband just a little longer each time we sit holding hands and sharing a moment of silence together. All of these gifts that I have been blessed with, and so many more, should never be taken for granted. It is these tiny moments that are the jewels of our lifetime. And they should be enjoyed and treasured at every opportunity because tomorrow is promised to no one.
Lovely piece. I guess the lucky ones have their ‘drop-dead date’. I wrote something a few weeks ago, referring to small yellow butterflies that flock the Lignum Vitae trees by the thousands certain times of the year. After they have completed their pollination they die by the end of the day. If you knew you would be dead in a few hours, would you still do your best for humanity? Life teaches us many lessons, but the thought of death teaches us more and shocks us too. Any near-death experience will transform us into better people. The kind of people we should be before death threatens us. But that’s not how life wants it to be. Life and Death are in more control of our lives than we think.