The older I get, the more I have come to understand and appreciate the value of old friends. There is a level of unspoken understanding and acceptance that just doesn’t happen overnight. It is that person who hears your voice on the phone or walks into the room and looks in your eyes, and simply knows what is wrong. The connection is deep and strong, strong enough to bridge the gap of time and distance. Yet it still has a delicate nature that reminds you of the fragile treasure that you share with another soul.
And on some rare occasions, the universe grants you an immeasurable gift. You are given an instant old friend. This person appears in your life like an unexpected bolt of lightning. You never see it coming, but it changes everything from that moment forward. Each time you talk or correspond in written form, you uncover more history that was never written but still somehow exists. There are familiar places, experiences, and events that connect your two lives like a ribbon made of smoke. You can see it and believe that it is real, but when you reach for it, your fingers slide right through it.
There is no explaining this gift of a new old friend. It is merely one of nature’s wonders like each magnificent sunrise, sunset, and every moment in between. It is a treasure that you are given to enhance your journey. This person could be the one to help you through a challenging time, shed light on your darkest moment, or help you carry a burned when you need time to gather your own strength. But whatever the reason, it is reciprocal. You are meant to find each other and fill a gap or hole in that other person’s life and heart.
For many years, I believed that this miracle was a once in a lifetime gift if you were lucky. But my thoughts changed when I found my second new old friend in this world. It was not long after I had lost my first new old friend. And the hole in my heart was still aching. Janet was a friend, mentor, and very much a member of our family. She was one of the kindest and most genuinely caring people I ever met. And her wisdom never ceased to amaze me. She was such a unique blend of spirituality and scientific curiosity. She opened my eyes and my heart to an entirely new side of the world. And her loss was devastating.
My second new old friend is equally as amazing and inspiring as Janet. She has done things and seen parts of the world that are beyond most people’s wildest dreams. And through those experiences, she has enlightened so many people on how to be a good citizen and steward of our world. She sees far beyond the exterior shell of a person and connects with their soul. Pam’s friendship encourages me to be the best person that I can be as a friend, family member, and member of humanity.
Oddly, all three of us were born and spent our childhoods within about a 25-mile radius, but at different times in a nearly 50 plus year span. And we met in person or virtually, thousands of miles from that point of origin. But these gifts were truly meant to be, meant to help me become the person that I am supposed to be. They are the treasures that remind me, even in the chaos of current events, what is truly important in this world. We are here for what is a very short time in the grand scheme of things. The only things that we can carry with us after this phase of our journey are those lessons, feelings, and memories that reside in our hearts and souls. That love and friendship will live with us for eternity.
You are so right, Kathy. You cannot make an old friend. You have to grow them. Some grow slowly as we learn to know one another and gradually share our lives. But once in a long time one will grow like time-lapse photography, growing up almost instantly. Both can be long-lasting. If we are truly blessed, they will last a lifetime. One friend I have had for nearly 70 years. We met in Kindergarten and have had a steady relationship though we seldom see each other. I also have what turned out to be a new old friend. I met her decades ago and our bond was instant. We are still friends though I haven’t seen her since 1992 I believe it was.