I wanted to take a few minutes to thank you for a very special gift that and only you could have given me. I’m not sure that you recall the story of my dad’s brother Wally, and the fact that he was killed in WWII. But it was a story that each of us kids learned more from overhearing grownups talking than from a discussing with Dad. In time, as we each reached an age of understanding, there were stories told about their childhood, mischievous adventures and about a bond that only brothers could forge.
At first, I didn’t understand the look that would come into Dad’s eyes as he spoke of Wally. It was confusing to a child. Dad’s eyes were normally where I looked for strength or reassurance but when he spoke of his brother his eyes looked lost, almost as if they were searching for something. It was as if they were the reflection of my young, unsure eyes and that was disconcerting and unsettling. It wasn’t until much later that I saw that same look when Grandma would speak of Grandpa and how she missed him. Her eyes too become cloudy as she was trying to focus on a time long ago before she lost him as if focusing on that moment would transport her back and allow her to feel his hand holding hers. Finally, I began to understand that I was gaining a glimpse into a soul that carried a sense of great loss and pain. That look was a result of carrying an extreme burden for a great long time. It revealed the toll that this burden was taking on my father and on Grandma.
But the young child who was absorbing these stories of a man she never knew, could only rely on instinct to know that this was important information that my father was sharing. And I should never forget a single detail. As I grew older, I heard more stories of shenanigans and adventures. I also finally grasped that the picture I had always thought was my father as a young man was really Uncle Wally. The resemblance was more than striking. So now with an image, this stranger was becoming real to me. He had a face and I was beginning to put together a personality for this Uncle Wally. But I only had stories of a child and a somewhat ornery teenager so the persona had many gaps.
This is where you come in my dear uncle. You were always a huge part of my life. You were a child’s dream adult as you were funny, silly, adventurous and anything but a stuffy old grownup. And above all else, I knew that you loved me no matter what. I could be in trouble one minute but then as the first snow of the year began to fall you were bundling me up to go outside and play in the snow even though it was late at night. You were, and still are, that perfect uncle. And it was you who gave me the ability to fill in those missing parts of the Uncle Wally that I had created in my mind. I made him fun and loving, strong and wise and just like my other uncle, he became a part of my family. I never met him but I loved him and that let me share in another aspect of my father’s life. I always wished that I could have just one chance to hug Uncle Wally and tell him how much I love him and how much a part of my life he has become.
That wish was not meant to be for now; someday it will happen. But I never would have understood that very important side of my father or my Uncle Wally if I had not had you in my life to teach me just what an uncle is. I can’t imagine all that would have been lacking from my childhood and my life if you were not my uncle. And I can’t thank you enough for your love, encouragement, and support all of these years. Today I just needed to make sure that you know how much I love you and thank you for being everything that is good, loving and caring in both of my uncles.