Following Our Dreams…

I have reached a point in my life when I feel the need to survey my entire timeline, both my past and my future to be certain that I am taking full advantage of every day that is afforded me. I look back on events and conversations that helped me chart my course to the place that I am today and that also motivate me to reach my goals for the future.

And one of the surprising things that I have discovered is that many of my dreams and goals in life have grown out of seeds that were planted by my parents. That’s not to say that I am trying to fulfill an obligation to them or to accomplish things on their behalf, but more a shared desire for certain experiences. And as much as I would have argued that I was nothing like my parents, it turns out we share many common interests and the desire to experience the same things. The older I get the more I see that I am their legacy in more ways than I ever imagined.

And all of this becomes even more clear to me each time that I enjoy one of these “shared” experiences or accomplish one of our “shared” goals. It is at those times that I smile knowing that they are both in my heart and sharing a tiny piece of that very moment with me just as if they were standing beside me.

My mother had a love of the ocean that was very odd for someone who only walked along the beach maybe a handful of times in her entire life. But she felt drawn to the environment and loved watching documentaries about the ocean and the creatures that live there. It wasn’t until she was elderly that she admitted to me that she had always dreamed of scuba diving, but by then her health would not permit it. But every one of the over 100 times that I have jumped in the water for another dive, I know that some part of her is finally sharing that experience with me.

My father’s passion was being out in nature. The solitude of a mountain top was his greatest pleasure. And each time I climb up a mountain, high enough to be looking down on birds, I know that I am as close to my father as I will ever be while still on this earth. He is breathing in that same fresh, crisp air and staring out over the trees in awe, just as I am.

But I am also reminded that life is short, and we need to appreciate each moment to its fullest. My parents lived their entire lives for the day that they would retire and have the time to be together and enjoy a life filled with all of their someday dreams. But less than a year after Dad retired, he was diagnosed with cancer. And Mom ended up retiring early to care for Dad and share the time that he had left. All of their someday dreams of visiting family and friends, touring beaches and national parks across the country and making memories were now gone. Now their days were filled with oncology appointments, treatments, and exhaustion just from getting out of bed and getting dressed.

This was one of the most difficult lessons that I ever had to learn by proxy. I saw it happening, and I would have given anything to change it for them. I wanted them to have just a fraction of the experiences and time that they had dreamed of and worked for decades to reach. But there was not a single thing that I could do to give them that much deserved time. Even before we lost Dad, I found that I was mourning the time that they had lost. And deep down somewhere inside me, I was promising myself, and them, that I would learn this lesson for them as well as for my husband and myself.

As parents, we want to see our children achieve their goals and dreams. And in my case, I know that living each day to the fullest and enjoying the opportunities that I have, is an important part of honoring my parents and all that they taught me throughout my life. We can all get very caught up in the day to day aspects of life, but it is equally important to make the time to chase the dreams and experiences that bring you happiness and joy. Each of our lives is a story that is being told, but it is our dreams and experiences that add the bright splashes of color and the happy sounds of laughter that give the story its meaning.