The holidays are “family time.” It is a time to remember our younger Christmases (or your
holiday season for your specific faith). It is a time when the young ones dream of presents and
growing up.
For the 5-year-old to the 105-year-old, the holidays are a special and magical time of the year.
The entire family awaits this time of year.
Like many of you reading this, I am also looking forward to this 2018 holiday season. At age 41,
I’ve had a few Christmases that were extraordinary. I’ve also had a few Christmases that have
not been extraordinary. I’ve also had Christmases that I’ve spent at the office working. I’ve
even had some Christmases that have been extremely painful and difficult.
I am who I am today because of my collective experiences over the years. ALL of them make
me who I am today. As I’ve aged, I’ve learned to appreciate all of my past. This maturity has
brought peace to my spirit, body, and mind. I will repeat, I look forward to the 2018 Holiday
season. Do you?
Finding Balance of the Mind, Body, and Spirit has been a lifelong journey that I began in my
mid-20s. That specific year was a very difficult Christmas. Since that holiday season, as the
years have passed, I began to see a pattern. I would like to share this pattern with you in this
article with the hopes that it reaches someone who may need the message this holiday season.
BALANCING THE SPIRIT
Because balancing the spirit requires the balance of both the body and mind, I will start with
balancing the mind. This has been the most challenging aspect of my spiritual and emotional
growth. You see, without a balanced mind, I was not able to move on to balancing my body or
to balancing of my spirit. I have come to realize that my mind is what controls everyday
choices, actions, beliefs and determines my daily lifestyle. Therefore, in order to achieve a
balanced spirit, the body and the mind must have been balanced/worked on first.
HOW TO BALANCE THE MIND
Earlier I mentioned that a difficult and painful holiday season sparked in me the desire to
balance my mind, body, and spirit. As I began my research, meditation was a subject that came
up time and time again. I tried meditation and gave up immediately. In my mind, there had to
be more than one to achieve my goal. Time and time again I came back to meditation until finally
deciding to make meditation a part of my daily life.
My first task was to acknowledge and take responsibility for my current circumstances. This
was not easy. I saw my circumstances as being the result of other people’s actions. I worked
on taking ownership for my life at that time. There was one single exercise that allowed me to
realize that IN FACT, my entire life was a mirror of my inner thoughts. The following exercise
was highly successful.
WHAT ARE MY DAILY THOUGHTS LIKE?
The path had been set. The journey had begun. My starting point was to “monitor” my daily
thoughts, as much as possible. This is when I began to realize just how much of my daily
thoughts were negative. Everything from blame shifting from past events, to the victimization of current
circumstances up to the stress of the future. Basically my entire past, present, and future
had negative connotations. Sounds dramatic? Do a small experiment.
WHAT ARE YOUR DAILY THOUGHTS LIKE?
Pick one day of the week, it doesn’t matter which day you choose because our thoughts
patterns are the same all of the time. On this day, write down, take voice notes, or do whatever
is the most convenient for you. As soon as you pay attention to your daily thoughts, write them
down or make a voice recording of your thoughts. Do this for the entire day starting when you
are waking up. No one will see this, so BE HONEST. At the end of the day write down a
summary of your day. Was it a “good” day? Was it a “bad” day? Or something in between?
Then, put away the sheet and come back to it one week later. Read it.
MY LIFE CHANGED AFTER THIS EXERCISE
I did this exercise in my 20s. It was then that I had a “moment’ where I finally took
accountability for the amount of negative self-talk, negative thinking, and negative projections. I
realized that even before I opened my eyes in the morning I was already complaining about the
alarm sound and the about the temperature in my apartment. As I got up the negative self-talk
continued by complaining about dirty laundry and about not having as many clothes as I
wanted. I continued my negative morning by rushing to work. The negativity continued by my
complaining about working so much more than my coworkers, fretting about not having
enough time to pack a lunch, complaining about my wages and the way the entire department
was inefficiently managed.
I still remember the day I reread my notes. As I wrote them down, I remember justifying my
negativity by saying to myself that these were ‘just things I could work on in my life.” At the end
of the day, I cheated and read my day’s notes. I didn’t wait a week. A bit of sadness settled as I
read my day’s summary. To make matters worse I justified the entire “negative thinking day” by
writing down that it was “healthy” for me to think this way about myself and others. The
justified negativity was backed by my reasoning that these were simply “areas in my life that I
can focus on bettering.”
LESSON #1
My first lesson was, “Justifying my negative self-talk or negative behavior, in any way, was
prohibiting me from bettering my life.” Negative self-talk, negative judgment of myself
and others never lead to any prosperity and instead only damaged my well being.
By concentrating on the negative I was unable to escape the negative state of mind whereby
unable to create the change that I was desiring. The power of change has always resided in
me, in my thoughts, in my beliefs, in my behavior, in my choices, and in my relationship
patterns. In order to rid me of this unwanted behavior, every single negative and
judgmental thought had to be immediately replaced with a positive affirmation. I began to read
authors like Louise Hay and Masaru Emoto. I began to speak positivity TO myself in my
thoughts and out loud.
NEW BEHAVIOR INCORPORATED. NOT AS EASY AS I HAD THOUGHT…
Almost 20 years later, I can attest to struggling to shed my negative and judgmental self-talk.
Even after reading the books and looking for Tony Robbins seminars, I continued to struggle to
change my patterns of thinking permanently.
After many years of justification and realizing that my tactics were not working, I finally took a
firm stand to try a different approach. The “new approach” was “radical.” I FORCED myself to
replace every negative thought and judgmental attitude with positivity right on the spot. No
more making excuses of, it’s okay, I’m busy working, I’ll work on this mental negativity when
I’m off work.
When I made this decision and strictly implemented the conversion of negative self-talk to
positive affirmations, this is when my self-improvement began.
MY EYES OPENED TO MY OLD LIFE AND TO THE TYPE OF PEOPLE AROUND ME
After a few days of this “radical” behavior replacement, I noticed changes in how I saw those
around me. I realized that I had surrounded myself with others who spoke like me, thought like
me and were living similar lives to my own. It was then that I realized that desiring a different
life was much more complicated than just saying a few positive affirmations. I needed to find
like-minded people. I needed to surround myself with others who were on the same path as
me.
I began looking for groups and landed in a lot of MLM companies. To this day I am a member
of several MLM companies. The self-empowerment of the conferences allowed me to find other
like-minded women. (These days I thoroughly enjoy going to as many “Get Motivated”
seminars as I can.)
HOW FAST ARE THE RESULTS?
Because we all have different paths in life, different childhoods, different life events, I can only
assume that change and results will vary as much as our differences in personalities and
backgrounds. For me, it was almost ONE year later before I could finally see that my entire life
would’ve stayed the same if I had continued with my negative self-thinking.
It took me that long to realize that I had finally grown to be the type of woman who could now
believe in herself enough to achieve her goals. For example, I had no idea that I had deep-rooted
negative beliefs about success and money in general. As long as I had continued to
hold on to my old belief systems I was not seeing the results that I wanted. My tenacity paid
off. I decided to stay on my path until things changed because I believed they would by God’s
Grace. My faith was instrumental in me letting go of all of the belief systems keeping me in my
old life.
IMAGINE YOURSELF WITH A SHOVEL DIGGING A HUGE HOLE FOR YOURSELF. OTHERS
MAY NOT WANT YOU OUT
Imagine every negative and judgmental thought as a shovel taking dirt from underneath your
ground. If you’re in the middle of this shoveling of dirt, eventually you will find yourself in a hole
of negativity, that you created but blamed others for it. People who do this, usually have an
entire network of diggers all around their social circles. Like minds think alike.
After I had my break thru, I finally realized that the fears, regrets, complaints, judgments and all
of the negative feelings, emotions, and negative self-talk binds like-minded people in a hole of
mental negativity.
Then, when one of the bunch decides to get out, the others pull them down. The pulling down
includes mocking, making fun of the new goals, bullying and in some cases eventually by
having them gang up in an intervention. Those were some painful moments in my life. I had to
find the strength to put up with the constant verbal and emotional abuse from those around
me., after I had made the choice to change.
I/ME/YOU/WE ALL DESERVE ALL OF OUR GOALS TO COME TO FRUITION
Believe in yourself, believe that you deserve better, believe in the fact that others have achieved
what you desire. Believe that you deserve to reach your goals. Surround yourself with new and
more positive influencers.
Eventually, one of two things happened to those around me. 1. They began seeing the changes
in me and my life and wanted to join my path and 2. They slowly faded into the history of my
past. I lovingly left the door open for future contact, while explaining that this “new me” was
permanent. Sadly, there were some people in my life who exited in a fashion that was not very
loving. I stood my ground no matter how much I loved them or how much they meant to me.
My wellbeing and my success are not be sacrificed for anyone.
LESSON #2
As I began attending different AMWAY conventions and other groups, I became one of those
self-help junkies jumping from one guru to the next. Slowly I began making a new set of friends
in a new life. My Lesson #2 was that when I do not have active goals, my old mentality creeps
in again. Once I reach a life goal, now I set a newer and bigger goal for myself.
Back in my late 20s and early 30s, I did not do this. When I had achieved the level of life with
the level of friends that I had wished for, i “suddenly” found myself back in my old habits.
WIthout realizing what I was doing, I spiraled my life back into chaos.
LESSON #3: FIGHT THRU THE DENIAL PHASE
When I found myself losing everything again, I took a day and wrote down my thoughts. I
repeated the exercise. As I wrote down my thoughts, I immediately saw my old patterns of
blame and lack of accountability resurface again.
There was a period of sadness. There was a period of self-blame. There was a period of self-judgment
. It was not easy and it was not right away, but I slowly made the decision that i had
indeed fallen back to square 1. This phase of my life was a phase of denial.
LESSON #4: LIFE IS A RODEO. GET BACK ON THAT HORSE!
Once again, I found the strength to get back on this life journey to a balanced life.
WHEN YOU FAIL, AND YOU EVENTUALLY WILL, IT’S OKAY. KEEP MOVING FORWARD. On
the challenging days, I remind myself, hey, I moved a quarter of an inch forward today. It might
not have been a 7-mile run, but that quarter of an inch means that I’m still moving forward.
LESSON #5: MY LIFE JOURNEY HAS HAD SEVERAL SETBACKS
Almost two decades later, I have repeated this cycle two more times. In 2013 I was the victim
of a horrific event that almost cost me my life. The last 5 years (almost 6 in Feb 2019) has
allowed me to prove that as a beautiful Phoenix, I too am reborn out of ashes. This new life, at
age 41 is truly the life that I have yearned since I was young. My life has been quite a ride. All
life stories are amazing when we remember that the ups cannot be recognized unless I’ve been
down. I cannot know happiness if I’ve not known sadness.
LESSON #6: LIFE IS DUALITY AND SPIRITUALITY IS A TRINITY
My thoughts have been the most vital aspect of my balancing my body mind and spirit. Due to
my diet and exercise habits, I gladly share that I rarely catch colds or become sick. My body
was one area where I have felt a true balance of energy, positive image, and a positive attitude.
My love of scripture led me to a 3.5-year study in NYC on religious texts. I left the institution
with even more questions. It was recently that I watched Professor Richard Cassaro’s give a
lecture on his theory called, “Triptych” Architecture. He has authored books on the subject and
I strongly recommend his research.
To explain his theory I will point to the night having its counterpart the day. Yin exists in eternal
harmony with yang. Mr. Cassaros explains that a human being is both male and female in one,
energetically but has the capability to connect to the divine as well. He opened my eyes to the
fact that the Yin/Yang symbol share both energies in a CONTAINER. The container is the image
of the circle, which symbolizes eternity. It is this third element that brings divinity to the spirit in
the human body and mind’s fleshy existence. There are free presentations on youtube that
explains this in detail.
HOW TO BEGIN THE JOURNEY & HABITS I’VE DEVELOPED OVER THE YEARS
LESSON #7: TAKE INVENTORY OF YOUR CURRENT THOUGHTS & YOUR CIRCLE OF
INFLUENCE
I strongly suggest that you do the thought inventory exercise soon. Next, consider the following
list of behaviors. If someone that you love or care for deeply exhibits the following traits, be
cautious that if you don’t exhibit them now, they are very contagious!
Watch out for: jealousy, covetousness, lying (even white lies), stealing (even minor items),
bearing false witness, gossiping (talking about people and not goals or ideas), judgmental,
backstabbing, gaslighting, bully, pushy, abusive, disrespectful, intolerant of others’ points of
view, victimization, blaming others, hating those with money or power, constantly making
excuses, makes you feel drained being around them, etc.
LESSON #8: BALANCING THE MIND
Self-acceptance, self-worth, self-love, self-appreciation, self-value are all necessary
aspects that I had to discover in order to bring balance to my mind. All negative beliefs
about myself prevented me from the growth that I desired.
Our minds are wild. We must tame it daily. In order to achieve this, I meditate daily to bring
control to my mind chatter. Be warned that the mind chatter evolves as you do. My mind
chatter is no longer as negative as it once was almost 2 decades ago, but I will admit to having
some sudden rough patches where I ask myself, “where did THAT come from?!.”
The point is to have a balanced life where the mind is not fully controlling our lives but yet we
allow the body the freedom to also communicate freely. With practice, anyone can learn how to
balance this mind chatter.
LESSON #9 BALANCING THE BODY
Because of what I do for a living, I have seen a correlation between negative body thinking
and physical discomfort. With this in mind, all of my clients receive the same advice. Replace
all bottled drinks with homemade fruit waters and smoothies. Replace as much as possible, all
chemical sugars and iodized salt from your diet with agave, raw honey, maple syrup, and rock
salt. Incorporate fasting as a monthly ritual along with all natural digestive flushes. Reduce or
replace as much as possible all of your animal product intakes. Increase your raw fruit and
vegetable intake dramatically. Figure out a way to schedule 7-8 hours of sleep. Incorporate
exercise into your daily routine. (I have many quick routines on my Pinterest @ElizabethSiteExercises
Board)
Contact me for a list of University backed medical studies published on the federal government
websites that state that the body can recover its natural state of health simply by following the
above mentioned diet. There are also many studies linking lack of REM sleep with weight gain.
Some medical studies that were conducted in the 1930s have gained momentum recently.
Specifically the spooky devices and the Royal Rife frequencies. (You can find these on the
landing page of my website).
LESSON 10: BALANCING THE SPIRIT
Being a woman of faith, my relationship with my creator is of high importance to me. All of my
achievements have been possible because I have a rock solid faith that my father provides me
with prosperity, he makes sure that I am happy and is my greatest warrior, in the battles that life
sends my way.
From this perspective, I used to judge myself if I felt insecure or unsure about life events. I’ve
learned that just because I am a woman of God, a Princess of God, I am human. Sometimes i
have “gut feelings” that I cannot answer why I feel uncertainty. Here is the list of questions that
I ask myself during meditation to “figure out” what is “making me uncomfortable.” I go thru this
list daily.
Do I feel safe? Am I safe? Do I have everything that I need? Can I get everything that I desire
and deserve? Is there something that I am scared of? Am I afraid of something harming me?
Do I believe that there is someone or something that can harm my body, my mind, my
business, my house, my life, my family, my loved ones? Do I fear someone? Do I fear someone
is controlling me and my life? Do I feel appreciated? Do I feel that someone is trying to put me
down or take my power from me? Do I feel loved by those around me? Do I feel ignored or not
listened to? Do I feel judged by others? Am I doubting God’s ability to empower me today? Am
I doubting God’s Grace and Mercy in my life? Am I doubting my own existence?
IN CONCLUSION:
My hope is that by sharing my personal journey, into discovering how to obtain a BALANCED
MIND BODY AND SPIRIT, that you too will be as inspired as I was when I learned about this
subject.
I pray that my life lessons help you avoid my past falls. It is my intention to send you my love
and well wishes for this 2018 holiday season. May you and your loved ones have an incredible
time making lifelong memories full of happiness and joy. I know that I will be doing just that!
God Bless
Thank you, Elizabeth for this amazing post and all of the information and opportunities that you have provided readers. Elizabeth can be contacted using the links below.
www.Instagram.com/
https://www.schedulicity.com/
https://www.youtube.com/
www.Patreon.com/Elizabethsite (Monthly Pledges)
Thank you, Kathy, and Elizabeth, for sharing this amazing post that is filled with such wisdom it’s difficult to single out just one sentence or two that stands out among the others. What I am struck by, Elizabeth, is your young age, while reflecting on your life at age 41 as if you are an elder. What’s so amazing is that you ARE an elder, with many more years of life, learning, living and loving ahead of you, just like you, Kathy. What is also so amazing to me is that your story (yours, too, Kathy) is such a parallel to my story that began in 1943. Obviously, it’s taken me longer to learn the lessons I have learned, that have taken you half as long. The lessons learned, the values they represent, are timeless, from one generation to another. I read the other day that fewer and fewer college students are majoring in history. We’ve all heard that when we forget history, we are bound to repeat it. Perhaps we need to write history today as you have written it here, Elizabeth, and how you are writing it, Kathy, to invite young people of today into a history that inspires them, encourages them, replaces fear with love in their hearts, minds and souls. You two are leading the way. What’s so stunning and wonderful about this is that your generation is becoming more conscious, more able to handle the complexities of today’s world in a wiser, more compassionate and more loving way, while remaining grounded in Truth. Again, thank you both for confirming and validating the stories of my own life, which gives me full confidence in the future for all. God bless you both.
Thank you, Pam and God bless you and your family this holiday season and throughout the coming year!