A Very Special Lady

My grandmother was an amazing lady. She was always one of my favorite people but as a child, I just thought that’s how all grandmothers were. She was fun, loving, kind, smart and she spoiled me more than I ever deserved. But as I got older, I began to understand that she was far more than I could ever comprehend as a child.

The talks that we had when I was young and the games that we played were more than ways to pass the time. She was challenging me to think and form my own opinions as well as teaching me how to articulate those ideas to others. She had a desire to learn about and explore the unknown rather than to fear it. Grandmother would have been mesmerized by the Internet had she lived long enough to experience all that it has to offer. She would have invested countless hours in examining all that she could locate on Area 51. That was one of her favorite “what if” topics.

Our discussions were always just that, a two-way conversation, and not a lecture from someone older and wiser. She was not imposing her will or her thoughts on me, instead, she got the ball rolling and then encouraged me to make my own decisions and choices. Even when my choices did not agree with hers, she remained respectful and supportive. To this day, I still discover aspects of my personality and thought process that are the product of our afternoons spent on the front porch of her home, as she introduced me to the fact that the world is a massive place to explore.

As she got older, sadly her mind began to slip away from her and from all of us. But even as her world became an unfamiliar place to her, she still knew me, loved me and continued to challenge me. For some reason, even as her very subdued temperament became rougher and often agitated, she still had a soft spot for me and my mother. She would give us her “look” now and then, but there was never an occasion, even close to the end when she raised her voice to me. Somehow deep inside the fog that had encompassed her wit and brilliant mind, she still knew that I would never do anything that was not in her best interest.

Our final days together were filled with the challenges of our role reversal. She was now asking why, and I was trying to find ways to create honest and meaningful answers that her now childlike mind could understand. But now I see that in some way, she was just making sure that I was ready to move on into the world as an adult. But one who remembered our many talks and lessons about thinking for myself, being true to my heart and following the path that was meant for me. And I hope that over the nearly 30 years since we last spoke, face to face, I have lived up to all that she expected from me.

Today is a very special day, Barbara Lucille Fleischer would have been 110. The day would have been filled with smiles and dozens of red roses, which were her favorite. I always got her roses, because she said to give them to her while she was here to enjoy them and not to sit on some casket when she was gone. Not a day goes by that I don’t rely on some of the lessons, love, and guidance that Grandmother shared with me. And I hope that she knows how much I love her, respect her and miss her, today and every day. Happy Birthday, Grandmother!